U Can’t Touch This

No bro, it is not cool when I enter the room, you use my computer and then ask me if it’s cool. It wasn’t when you started it and it is not now.

I said “Look at this” showing you a picture. I surely don’t remember saying get the phone off my hand, check all my pictures/apps and don’t forget to log me out of Facebook to check if people still like you.

That big old CD collection you see there, is not for you to pick up and shuffle.

Same for my books library.

You are at my home smoking without asking. OK. That happens above my keyboard with your hellish cigarette torch that spills ashes everywhere trying to figure out how YouTube works. Guess how OK that is my metalhead friend…

Don’t get offended when you want to try out my computer/phone/glasses as if you’ve never seen one of them before and I politely say no.

No little kid. The game you were playing in daddy’s office is not playable on my computer.

My glasses have “My” and not “Our” in front of them. You don’t look sophisticated, you look like an idiot performing an unsuccessful myopia test to himself.

You dare thinking about tasting my food/drink? From what planet did you come from?

If I can reasonably call it mine, leave it alone.

All the above, I can do to you. But you don’t mind, right?\